A friend used to have an RX8. It did rotary things. He now has a Yas Marina blue BMW M4, non-comp, with the DCT. Is it time for me embrace and be a dick now?

The F80 generation of BMW M car might be one of the best looking modern cars the company has come out with (bar the m8 and m2 of similar vintage). Muscular yet fairly clean, with great attention to how surfaces are treated as the body flows. Perfectly BMW. Also happens to have some pretty weird steering. I promise I won’t beat that horse to death when I finally visit the farm.

The interior of the car is familiar. Materials are nice, and it’s very late 2010’s BMW inside. To be honest, while it is a nice place to be, it doesn’t exactly feel like the most special. However, buying one used now, you probably don’t care much.

The car rides pretty nice, especially compared to the competition package, which punishes you for your hubris to drive on normal roads. You can play with many different settings: steering, throttle, Suspension, transmission, though you’ll probably find yourself leaving them in sport or sport + (aka race) for the majority of the time. Except steering. Leave it in comfort, you’ll thank me later. The car has the old familiar idrive system on it, however it doesn’t have the usual idrive alien penis shaped gear selector, on account of having a 7 speed dual clutch transmission.

The car honestly has given me mixed feelings. I’ve driven a car with an M engine before (s52 swapped e30 coupe) and I’ve driven a modern M car before as well (M2, non-comp, with a DCT), and was kinda hoping the M4 would be my proper introduction into the raw world of powerful and dumb German saloon cars. And to be honest, my initial impressions after having driven the car were expectations unmet. Which is unfair now, having been removed from the car by a few weeks, because it really is a pretty brilliant, fast, and decently visceral car.

The first night I drove it, going from the M4 back to my STI, the Subaru managed to feel more raw of a car. Slower, obviously, but the steering feel from the light hydraulic unit, the anger in its exhaust note, and the weight of that shifter, made me look at the bewinged sedan with an even more positive light. That night, the M4 felt like a fast F30 gen 3 series (which is another car I’ll talk about later probably). It felt like the mythos of the raw and savage M car was either some long forgotten notion or locked behind a paywall labeled “Competition package”.

And while I’ll probably still come back to that Subaru and find it to be a more “raw” driving experience, I think my initial after drive thoughts on the F82 are both harsh and premature.

Because it is one hell of a ride (and drive). That turbo inline 6 slaps you with torque like a madman wielding a halibut. BMW likes their torque-y 6’s, and this unit is no exception. They really want you to feel it the moment you get near the gas, and the angry doesn’t want to let up. Rev it out past 7 if you want, this car is a window into the other side of German engineering. It’s that same side of the equation that produced the Gumpret Apollo and road legal 962s. Over powered, stupid, and finely over-engineered.

And while you could argue that this generation of M car might’ve gotten a little soft, it rides comfortably, it’s decently muffled, the sound system is lovely, and though you can really feel the mass the car has to lug around, it doesn’t fully matter. Sure, it’s not as “affordable” (what ever that actually means for an M car) as in past years, less rebellious track rat and more a gentleman’s sports car, the F80/82 still has a rip your face off and that’s exactly what I wanted to get out of the car. The softer side of the car just means you can actually use and enjoy it on a daily basis without needed to get a back brace or worrying about that carbon splitter.

Better with a manual? Probably, but the 7 speed dual clutch is a perfectly fine and entertaining unit to use. Flick the paddles, get a wack in your back between shifts, and pretend you’re on the Hockenheimring ready to set a lap record. It gets addicting really quick. And it makes a wonderful noise, although it still suffers from a little bit of “over-muffling”. I’m in the M car now damn it, I wanna hear it sing! Granted, those i6’s get stupidly loud really quick. The brakes are as good at stopping as the car is at going, which is nice. Still touchy like most modern Bimmers, but not as bad as the average.

Around a corner, the car is planted. It feels the opposite of what I was expecting honestly. Granted it didn’t send it into the few corners we have in Daytona like a madman because 1, street; 2, not my car; and 3, life was doing pretty good at the time. But even so, with a somewhat more reasonable cornering speed, I was way within the limits of the car. It has grip for days, excellent body control, and I’d love to feel what that car could do on track with how well set up it felt and with how nicely it spoke back… almost.

Ok so really ‘quick’ on the steering. I don’t get why modern automakers do this, but whenever you put one of these new electric units into “sport” or “race” mode, they become artificially heavy for the sake of “sportiness”, while also failing to accurately tell the driver what the front wants to do. They weigh up weird with speed and cornering, and don’t really feel natural. Not every electric unit is like this, but a lot are guilty of adding unnatural weight to dull responding steering. The m4 is guilty of this too, with everyone and their mother having already ripped them to shreds over this. Do as they say, just leave the steering in comfort mode. It’s lighter and feels better, and honestly you’re not missing out on much feedback between the modes. It’s not great, but it’s a patch.

So the F82 M4. It’s an M car, it’s fast, it’ll slap you silly when you ask it too, and carry you home when you need it. It makes the case for an almost ideal one car garage. Almost.