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Why do we seek to drink poison? For some cars, their faults and the sheer financial and personal damage they can cause come to overshadow the merits of their build. And yet some seek them out. Some gain a devoted following of poor affluent masochists willing to bear their curse. Sometimes, poison is brought to the table in a vial too ornate to resist a sip. And for many of us, one car embodies this temptation above all others.

My attorney has advised that I no longer speak about the Volkswagen W8 in public settings. But Let’s see what these sick bastards are into, shall we?

. . .

Dauer Porsche 962 LM, green interior necessary. And the FAT Turbo Express livery, for obvious reasons. Can you carry groceries in it? Technically. Can you carry someone with you? Yes, but they’ll be terrified as you bring the LeMans-winning hyper car up to speeds that would make even the fastest rental Altima weep. Gas mileage? Well, it won Le Mans, so it has to be fairly good, right? Well no, 4.6 MPG is morbid. But you sure would look cool at the gas station.

– Melody

A 200k mile BMW Z4. My dad had one when I was a kid and it was the same shit to me. So it gets sentimental points, also who doesn’t love a high mileage BMW?
– D.B.

Ferrari F355 challenge, converted back into a street car. Horrible to drive, horrible to live with, will ruin your back, will ruin your ears, will catch fire. I lust after that mistake daily.
– Monty

[Pierce will never be convinced that an F355 Challenge could be a terrible car.]

The later Mk2 Saab 9-5 Aero. A very beautiful car, however these were made during Saab’s dying days after GM left them for dead, which means that this car is very iffy in reliability and parts will be hard to come by. In other cases I would take an early Mk1 instead, but if I were to have a Saab to ruin my life? It would be this one.
– Comrade Zdzisław

Well, I’d say an AMC Gremlin, for the meme. I want to drive by in it and have people be like what the fuck is that and why are you driving it? I want old people to have a hearty chuckle seeing a car they had when they were teens being driven by some guy in leather, and I want to give it a funny paint job or keep it rusty. I haven’t decided, but I need it to be uglier than it already is. Seriously though, I’d probably just get a Trans Am.
– Griffin

It drives very aggressively. If it nearly kills me and puts me into a stretcher, I’d gladly do it again, and again, and again. When I’m not crashing it, maintenance will be a bitch anyway. It’s a car not meant for my socioeconomic class nor my emotional maturity. I would willingly let maintaining and driving the hell out of this thing dominate all aspects of my life and make it my sole goal.
– Dracula

I don’t think any car will ever look as good as the Toyota 86 hatch. Genuinely the only reason I’m into cars now is because I thought the AE86 was peak (looks wise) and wanted one, this is even before I saw Initial D. I only have a Celica because I couldn’t afford and 86.
– Matt

300C
– Big Boss

I was thinking for a while of what car to pick, because most of the cars that I could want wouldn’t ruin my life, but I finally settled on one. I pick the Dodge Viper, 2nd or 5th generation. The only reason it would ruin my life is because I’d probably kill myself trying to drive it. If the Dodge Viper doesn’t count as a terrible car then I pick the E60 M5. Loud V10 noises still included, but it’s German so it will destroy my life
– Dillon

If it has to be terrible then it’s got to be this. Mechanical fuel injection, light weight, and DOHC power. It’s got everything you want. It’s even a Cosworth, but then it’s also a GM.
– Jacob

I WILL ruin my life with this car one day. Though you say terrible car in general… So any Aston Martin.
– Will

In light of actually reading the whole prompt, the answer is clear. I’ve already made more memories in the time I’ve had this car than I could with anything else. Whether I bought a showroom condition one, or one in worse shape than mine was, I’d run an MGB until one of us died.
– Zach

I would like to extend my thanks to the MSIMA Consumers™ for these profound insights into car culture. What followed was a long argument over the apparent similarities of E60 and E90 BMWs, whether or not they are muscle cars, and something about the Ford Focus.

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