From the homeless tent of your local NonCredible™ Mechanophile

Whenever you see her, your knees get weak. You can’t stop thinking about her. Her name… A Toyota Matrix? Look, whatever car gets you going, I’m not here to judge. I’m just here to guide you through the most important decision of your life: where to get married (to your car).

10. Under your car in the garage

Nothing makes a man closer to his whippinton then hacking off multiple years of his life by inhaling everything the car has collected in its decade to 40 years on the road. Bonus points if you have the recalled harbor freight jackstands, those ensure that you will always be touching your car, and will always reside under it.

9. Ornament Valley

Made popular by the famed documentary Cars, this wonderful car-centric area down Route 66 is the perfect honeymoon location for any real automotive lover. Your car will thank you while taking in the jaw-dropping views of the valley or enjoying all the room and amenities the town has to provide! We particularly suggest Flo’s “KaCheese Burger”.

8. The beautiful mountain roads

Nothing says “I love you” like putting others in danger by driving past your limit on some awesome mountain roads. If you two like to feel like bad boys, cross the mustard and really start to feel alive. WARNING: Not for the faint of heart

7. Jiffy Lube

If you and your partner are into the… freakier stuff, Jiffy Lube has all the right tools to get you right. They’ve got all kinds of lubes for every make and model of your hubby or wife. We don’t discriminate here at Mis-Shift!

6. Stealership

Prove to your automotive love that they mean so much to you, you’d pick them over any of the new, hot bodies on a car lot. Plus, it provides a large audience to watch your special day. If you want to share that moment with a bunch of stranger cars who are forced to stay there, now you can!

5. The Junkyard Romance Corner

If you’re part of the emo crowd, having hundred of dead bodies around may be appealing. The aurora of this location is unlike any other, offering a lovely dark atmosphere for the interested party. Just remember, unlike your soon to be wife, the cars around are in-fact dead.

4. Gas Station Gala

If you’re a drinking couple, this might be the place for you. Say “fill up” instead of “I do” and enjoy the fumes from such a fine establishment. In fact, the gas station is where the first “Petrol Heads” were formed. The more you know.

3. Classic Car Museum

Looking for something a little more classy than the dealership lot? Perhaps your love is of an older… vintage? Be around dozens of other happy and aging classic cars. Yes, such a place is pretty much the retirement home for cars, but it doesn’t have that weird smell!

2. Race Track

If you and your car live your lives in the fast lane, a racetrack is the perfect venue for the marriage of (wo)man and machine (we don’t discriminate. Say your vows driving fast together, get the adrenaline pumping and keep it that way all the way back to the garages.

1. Crashing a car into a tree

This truly is the best way to marry your car, with your flesh and blood melded to the glass, plastic and metal. Truly becoming one flesh, just as god intended. If you truly love your car more than anything and anyone this is the only way forward. Or at least the best way to stop forward motion.