Tag: Porsche
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Scientist Discovers Hidden Link Between Cybertruck and Porsche GT3
Hello, dear comsumers and assholes worldwide. This is a special report based on new information (mystery images) kept under high security (on a USB drive) brought to us by covert sources (the office mailbox). Included was the media you see below, and a bourbon-scented wrinkled index card which read the following: “Dear sirs. I write…
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Top 10…
After much debate and consultation with sources across the automotive world, we are honored to bring you a collected record of the top 10. The top 10 what? I hear you asking, pleading, arms aloft gazing up at our gilded royal balcony for any sort of meaningful address. Chaos runs in the streets. Buildings crumble.…
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First the Miata, now the 944? The Fuck Assholes?
Is it time for a buncha 20 year olds to sound like a heard of rambling old men? Bet your ass it is B O Y ! Ah pre-COVID 19 Facebook marketplace… what a time, what a place! I still have excel sheets that documented lists of cars for sale back when Pierce and I…
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New Company Aims to Freeze Car Collectors with Collection
Astrobionicle, a new Aerospace company spun off from Duke University has recently announced plans to dominate the in space Human health market. Amongst the technology they’re researching, their team of PHD students and ex-SpaceX engineers have been developing the technology for putting humans under some sort of hibernation for long duration space missions. However, during…
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2022 Porsche Turbo S Suffers Suspension Failure During Track-day Due To Weight Of Driver’s Ego
“We only factored in about a 50% increase in ego inflation, it seems this wasn’t enough”
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Porsche Recalls 489 Carrera GT’s to Remind Owners Who’s Really In-Charge
Porsche has recently recalled 1/3 of all Carrera GT‘s produced. We at MSIMA reached out to Porsche in order out find out more. “After the whole fiasco of people hoarding the 911 R, we decided that periodically, we must remind our consumers loyal Porsche customers, who is in charge”, a Porsche rep told us, “There…
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1996 Porsche 911 993 Carrera Twin Turbo’d – The Air-Cooled Mythos
My dad’s old car, driven by yours truly back when we still had it. It’s a 1996 Porsche 911 Carrera, 993. It was modified back in the day to be a track weapon, with two massive turbos shoved in its wide rear end. The car made somewhere north of 450hp back in the day. It…
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Porsche Running Out of Numbers For New 911 Generation
From the desk of Daniel “Pinecone” Verona The crisis becomes clearer as engineers search for a way to count below 1 Recently MSIMA informants have relayed concerning news from the Porsche headquarters in Stuttgart. As the company makes early preparations for the next generation of 911 sports cars, engineers have reportedly discovered that the company…